Lifted from an e-mail

jeweler jim

New sign at Wal-Mart<br />
<br />
Our society is doomed...<br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING <br />
<br />
I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00<br />
I said "May I have large bills, please?"<br />
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.<br />
"When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....<br />
<br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING<br />
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.<br />
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'<br />
His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'<br />
<br />
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING<br />
We had to have the garage door repaired.<br />
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.<br />
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.<br />
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.' <br />
<br />
We haven't used Sears repair since. <br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING<br />
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.<br />
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.<br />
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'<br />
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. <br />
<br />
Please do not confuse the clerks at McDonald's.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE<br />
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.<br />
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' <br />
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.<br />
From Kansas City <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING<br />
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'<br />
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'<br />
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'<br />
<br />
Happened in Birmingham, Alabama.<br />
<br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING<br />
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.<br />
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.<br />
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'<br />
<br />
She was a probation officer in Wichita, Kansas <br />
<br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING<br />
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing'.<br />
Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'<br />
Not another word was spoken.<br />
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.<br />
<br />
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.<br />
<br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING<br />
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. <br />
<br />
A deputy with the Dallas, Texas County Sheriff’s office, no less.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
IDIOT SIGHTING<br />
How would you pronounce this child's name?<br />
"Le-a"<br />
Leah?? NO<br />
Lee - A?? NOPE<br />
Lay - a?? NO<br />
Lei?? Guess Again.<br />
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Missouri.<br />
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.<br />
It's pronounced "Ledasha".<br />
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."<br />
<br />
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.<br />
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.<br />
<br />
<br />
STAY ALERT!<br />
<br />
They walk among us.....and they VOTE~!!